Ability Forum

[Kr_iyer]

After engagement: Superman
After Marriage: Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

After engagement: Superman
After Marriage: Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

[Adverts]

[Kr_iyer]

No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:
1.     They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that.
2.     Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that.
3.     Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does that too.
4.     Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. Sigh... Windows does that, too.
5.     Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. Yup, that's with Windows, too.
Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.

So Windows is not a virus.

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:
1.     They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that.
2.     Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that.
3.     Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does that too.
4.     Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. Sigh... Windows does that, too.
5.     Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. Yup, that's with Windows, too.
Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.

So Windows is not a virus.

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

[Kr_iyer]

A research team proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic protuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size of which was unspecified.  One member of the team precipitously descended, sustaining severe damage to the upper cranial portion of his anatomical structure; subsequently the second member of the team performed a self rotational translation oriented in the same direction taken by the first team member.
In simple English what does this translate to??
Scroll down for answer:.......

;;






     
jack and jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water
jack fell down and broke his crown and
jill came tumbling after

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

A research team proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic protuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size of which was unspecified.  One member of the team precipitously descended, sustaining severe damage to the upper cranial portion of his anatomical structure; subsequently the second member of the team performed a self rotational translation oriented in the same direction taken by the first team member.
In simple English what does this translate to??
Scroll down for answer:.......

;;






     
jack and jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water
jack fell down and broke his crown and
jill came tumbling after

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

[Kr_iyer]

It's true - the Irish occasionally have problems with understanding their doctors ....

Artery                            The study of paintings
Bacteria                         Back door to cafeteria
Barium                           What doctors do when patients die
Benign                            What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section        A neighbourhood in Rome
Cat scan                         Searching for Kitty
Cauterize                        Made eye contact with her
Colic                               A sheep dog
Coma                             A punctuation mark
Dilate                             Live a long time
Enema                           Not a friend
Fester                            Quicker than someone else
Fibula                             A small lie
Impotent                        Distinguished, well known
Labour Pain                  Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff                 A Doctor's cane
Morbid                           A higher offer
Nitrates                         Cheaper than day rates
Node                             I knew it
Out patient                    A person who has fainted
Pelvis                            Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative              A letter carrier
Recovery Room            Place to do upholstery
Rectum                         Nearly feckin killed him
Secretion                      Hiding something
Seizure                         Roman emperor
Tablet                           A small table
Terminal Illness           Getting sick at the airport
Urine                           Opposite of you're out

See you on monday, have a nice weekend

KABHI ALVIDHA NA KAHENA

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

It's true - the Irish occasionally have problems with understanding their doctors ....

Artery                            The study of paintings
Bacteria                         Back door to cafeteria
Barium                           What doctors do when patients die
Benign                            What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section        A neighbourhood in Rome
Cat scan                         Searching for Kitty
Cauterize                        Made eye contact with her
Colic                               A sheep dog
Coma                             A punctuation mark
Dilate                             Live a long time
Enema                           Not a friend
Fester                            Quicker than someone else
Fibula                             A small lie
Impotent                        Distinguished, well known
Labour Pain                  Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff                 A Doctor's cane
Morbid                           A higher offer
Nitrates                         Cheaper than day rates
Node                             I knew it
Out patient                    A person who has fainted
Pelvis                            Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative              A letter carrier
Recovery Room            Place to do upholstery
Rectum                         Nearly feckin killed him
Secretion                      Hiding something
Seizure                         Roman emperor
Tablet                           A small table
Terminal Illness           Getting sick at the airport
Urine                           Opposite of you're out

See you on monday, have a nice weekend

KABHI ALVIDHA NA KAHENA

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

[Kr_iyer]

One day, three consultants, one from Wipro, one from Infosys and one from TCS, went out for a walk.

"Why don't we prove who is the best among ourselves?"

Why not, said the other two.

The Infosian said "Let's have a test. Whoever makes this monkey laugh,
works for the best firm".

Being a pure logical strategist, the person from TCS tried to make the
monkey Laugh by telling jokes. The monkey stayed still.

As a more practical consultant, the Wipro guy tried to make funny gestures. No good, the monkey stayed put...

Now, comes the Infosian. Being the practical guy he was always trained to be, he whispered something into the monkey's ear, and it burst out laughing at him..

The other two were astonished. So the Wipro guy said "OK, let's take
another test. Let's make this monkey cry!!"

So there they went again, applying the same methods as before. The TCS guy narrated sad stories, the Wipro guy made sad gestures, and they failed again...

Then, the Infosian again whispered something into the monkey's ear and oh! It started crying, patting the Infosian's shoulder!

The other two just could not believe their eyes! So the tcs guy said "OK, you've won twice. If you can win just this one, we will bow to you. Let's make this monkey run".

And he barked at the monkey and ordered him to run. Of course, it stayed where it was.. The Wipro guy, true to his type, pushed and prodded the monkey- still No go.

So...here comes Infosian, again, and whispers into the monkey's ear. The Monkey just takes off! It runs and runs as fast as it can, as if it was scared to death!

The other two surrendered. They Said: "OK, we give up. You're the best
among us, and you work for the Best firm of the three. But please, please tell us your secret," they begged him.

"Well", said the Infosian , "The first time I made him laugh, I told I work for Infosys . The next time, I told the monkey how much I get paid ...so he started crying."

And then I made him run for his life by telling him " I'm here for recruitment !!! "

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

One day, three consultants, one from Wipro, one from Infosys and one from TCS, went out for a walk.

"Why don't we prove who is the best among ourselves?"

Why not, said the other two.

The Infosian said "Let's have a test. Whoever makes this monkey laugh,
works for the best firm".

Being a pure logical strategist, the person from TCS tried to make the
monkey Laugh by telling jokes. The monkey stayed still.

As a more practical consultant, the Wipro guy tried to make funny gestures. No good, the monkey stayed put...

Now, comes the Infosian. Being the practical guy he was always trained to be, he whispered something into the monkey's ear, and it burst out laughing at him..

The other two were astonished. So the Wipro guy said "OK, let's take
another test. Let's make this monkey cry!!"

So there they went again, applying the same methods as before. The TCS guy narrated sad stories, the Wipro guy made sad gestures, and they failed again...

Then, the Infosian again whispered something into the monkey's ear and oh! It started crying, patting the Infosian's shoulder!

The other two just could not believe their eyes! So the tcs guy said "OK, you've won twice. If you can win just this one, we will bow to you. Let's make this monkey run".

And he barked at the monkey and ordered him to run. Of course, it stayed where it was.. The Wipro guy, true to his type, pushed and prodded the monkey- still No go.

So...here comes Infosian, again, and whispers into the monkey's ear. The Monkey just takes off! It runs and runs as fast as it can, as if it was scared to death!

The other two surrendered. They Said: "OK, we give up. You're the best
among us, and you work for the Best firm of the three. But please, please tell us your secret," they begged him.

"Well", said the Infosian , "The first time I made him laugh, I told I work for Infosys . The next time, I told the monkey how much I get paid ...so he started crying."

And then I made him run for his life by telling him " I'm here for recruitment !!! "

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

[Kr_iyer]

Put eight [or 5-6-9-12... a number your choice] monkeys in a room. In the
middle of the room is a ladder, leading to a bunch of bananas hanging from a
hook on the ceiling. Each time a monkey tries to climb the ladder, all the
monkeys are sprayed with ice water, which makes them miserable.
  
Sooner enough, whenever a monkey attempts to climb the ladder, all of the other monkeys,
not wanting to be sprayed, set upon him and beat him up. Soon, none of the eight
monkeys ever attempts to climb the ladder.

One of the original monkeys is then removed, and a new monkey is put in the
room. Seeing the bananas and the ladder, he wonders why none of the other
monkeys are doing the obvious, but, undaunted, he immediately begins to
climb the ladder. All the other monkeys fall upon him and beat him silly.


He has no idea why. However, he no longer attempts to climb the ladder.
A second original monkey is removed and replaced. The newcomer again
attempts to climb the ladder, but all the other monkeys hammer the crap out of him.
This includes the previous new monkey, who, grateful that he's not on the
receiving end this time, participates in the beating because all the other monkeys are
doing it. However, he has no idea why he's attacking the new monkey.


One by one, all the original monkeys are replaced. Eight new monkeys are now
in the room. None of them have ever been sprayed by ice water. None of them
attempt to climb the ladder. All of them will enthusiastically beat up any
new monkey who tries, without having any idea why.
  
  
[And that's how company policies get established ...................]
  

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

Put eight [or 5-6-9-12... a number your choice] monkeys in a room. In the
middle of the room is a ladder, leading to a bunch of bananas hanging from a
hook on the ceiling. Each time a monkey tries to climb the ladder, all the
monkeys are sprayed with ice water, which makes them miserable.
  
Sooner enough, whenever a monkey attempts to climb the ladder, all of the other monkeys,
not wanting to be sprayed, set upon him and beat him up. Soon, none of the eight
monkeys ever attempts to climb the ladder.

One of the original monkeys is then removed, and a new monkey is put in the
room. Seeing the bananas and the ladder, he wonders why none of the other
monkeys are doing the obvious, but, undaunted, he immediately begins to
climb the ladder. All the other monkeys fall upon him and beat him silly.


He has no idea why. However, he no longer attempts to climb the ladder.
A second original monkey is removed and replaced. The newcomer again
attempts to climb the ladder, but all the other monkeys hammer the crap out of him.
This includes the previous new monkey, who, grateful that he's not on the
receiving end this time, participates in the beating because all the other monkeys are
doing it. However, he has no idea why he's attacking the new monkey.


One by one, all the original monkeys are replaced. Eight new monkeys are now
in the room. None of them have ever been sprayed by ice water. None of them
attempt to climb the ladder. All of them will enthusiastically beat up any
new monkey who tries, without having any idea why.
  
  
[And that's how company policies get established ...................]
  

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

[Kr_iyer]

hi,
I am not MCP, it is just a joke


A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE !

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch . . .. you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband .

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

hi,
I am not MCP, it is just a joke


A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE !

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch . . .. you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband .

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

[Kr_iyer]

One day God was looking over creation and He decided that He wasn't really happy with the way things turned out. So He called the 3 most powerful men on earth, Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin and Bill Gates, to come and see Him. He told them that this experiment with life on earth was a failure, and that in 3 days He was going to end it. So basically they had 3 days to prepare their people.

So Boris Yeltsin convenes an emergency meeting of the Russian Parliament and says:
"I have bad news, and really bad news. First of all, there is a God. Secondly everything we have worked for since the revolution will be totally destroyed in 3 days."

Bill Clinton makes a State of the Union address to the American people on TV and says:
"I have good news and bad news. First of all, there is a God. Secondly, everything we have worked for since the revolution will be destroyed in 3 days."

Bill Gates convenes a meeting of the board of directors and says:
"I have good news, and really good news. First of all, there is a God, and He spoke to me personally. Secondly, in 3 days, IBM will be destroyed."

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

One day God was looking over creation and He decided that He wasn't really happy with the way things turned out. So He called the 3 most powerful men on earth, Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin and Bill Gates, to come and see Him. He told them that this experiment with life on earth was a failure, and that in 3 days He was going to end it. So basically they had 3 days to prepare their people.

So Boris Yeltsin convenes an emergency meeting of the Russian Parliament and says:
"I have bad news, and really bad news. First of all, there is a God. Secondly everything we have worked for since the revolution will be totally destroyed in 3 days."

Bill Clinton makes a State of the Union address to the American people on TV and says:
"I have good news and bad news. First of all, there is a God. Secondly, everything we have worked for since the revolution will be destroyed in 3 days."

Bill Gates convenes a meeting of the board of directors and says:
"I have good news, and really good news. First of all, there is a God, and He spoke to me personally. Secondly, in 3 days, IBM will be destroyed."

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

[Kr_iyer]

Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data - to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation, USA . A few days later he got this reply :

"Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence.
No phone call shall be entertained.
Thanks  Bill Gates. "

------------------------------------------------------------
Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply.
He arranged a press conference : "Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hai."
Everyone was delighted. Laloo prasad continued...... "Ab hum aap sab ko apnaa appointment Letter padkar sunaongaa ? par letter angreeze main hai - isliyen saath-saath Hindi main translate bhee karoonga.
-----------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ----- Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya
You do not meet -----aap to miltay hee naheen ho
our requirement ----- humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any furthur correspondance ----- ab Letter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.
No phone call ----- phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai
shall be entertained ----- bahut khaatir kee jayegi.
Thanks ----- aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad.
Bill Gates. ---- Tohar Bilva

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data - to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation, USA . A few days later he got this reply :

"Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence.
No phone call shall be entertained.
Thanks  Bill Gates. "

------------------------------------------------------------
Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply.
He arranged a press conference : "Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hai."
Everyone was delighted. Laloo prasad continued...... "Ab hum aap sab ko apnaa appointment Letter padkar sunaongaa ? par letter angreeze main hai - isliyen saath-saath Hindi main translate bhee karoonga.
-----------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ----- Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya
You do not meet -----aap to miltay hee naheen ho
our requirement ----- humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any furthur correspondance ----- ab Letter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.
No phone call ----- phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai
shall be entertained ----- bahut khaatir kee jayegi.
Thanks ----- aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad.
Bill Gates. ---- Tohar Bilva

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

[Kr_iyer]

A man  checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so
he decided to  send an e-mail to his wife.  However, he accidentally
typed a wrong  e-mail address, and without realizing his error, sent the  e-mail.

  Meanwhile....Somewhere in Houston , a widow had just  returned from
her husband's funeral.  The widow decided to check her  e-mail,
expecting condolence messages from relatives and  friends.

After reading the 1st message, she fainted. The widow's  son
rushed into the room found his mother on the floor and saw the computer  screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've  reached

Date: November 30, 2005

I know you're surprised to hear  from me. They have computers here;  
we are allowed to send e-mails to  loved ones.I've just reached and
have been checked in.  I see that  everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Looking forward  to seeing you TOMORROW !

Your loving Hubby

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

A man  checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so
he decided to  send an e-mail to his wife.  However, he accidentally
typed a wrong  e-mail address, and without realizing his error, sent the  e-mail.

  Meanwhile....Somewhere in Houston , a widow had just  returned from
her husband's funeral.  The widow decided to check her  e-mail,
expecting condolence messages from relatives and  friends.

After reading the 1st message, she fainted. The widow's  son
rushed into the room found his mother on the floor and saw the computer  screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've  reached

Date: November 30, 2005

I know you're surprised to hear  from me. They have computers here;  
we are allowed to send e-mails to  loved ones.I've just reached and
have been checked in.  I see that  everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Looking forward  to seeing you TOMORROW !

Your loving Hubby

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

[Kr_iyer]

I am going  to say about the..........
Money

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER]


[/CENTER ALIGN]

  

<FO size="3" face="Times New Roman" NT>[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER][/CENTER ALIGN]

It can buy a house

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER]
[/CENTER ALIGN]

But not a home

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER]
< /div>[/CENTER ALIGN]

It can buy a clock

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER][/CENTER ALIGN]

But not time

&nb sp;

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER]
[/CENTER ALIGN]

It can buy you a positio n

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER][/CENTER ALIGN]

But not respect

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER][/CENTER ALIGN]

It can buy you a bed
<DI align="center" v>


  [CENTER ALIGN=CENTER]
[/CENTER ALIGN]

But not sleep

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER][/CENTER ALIGN]

It can buy y ou a book

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER][/CENTER ALIGN]

But not knowledge

  

It can buy you medicine

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER][/CENTER ALIGN]

But not health

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER][/CENTER ALIGN]

It can buy you blood

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER][/CENTER ALIGN]

But not life

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER][/CENTER ALIGN]

So you see money isn't ever ything
[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER]And it often causes pain and suffering   

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER]
[/CENTER ALIGN]I tell you this because I am your friend
[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER]
And as your friend I want to [/CENTER ALIGN]

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER]
Take away your pain and suffering!! [/CENTER ALIGN]

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER][/CENTER ALIGN]
So
Send me all your money< /B>
[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER]

And I will suffer for you! [/CENTER ALIGN]
[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER][/CENTER ALIGN]

Cash only please!

After all, what are friends for, right??
[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER]
[/CENTER ALIGN]
I HOPE THIS MADE YOU SMILE!!! [CENTER ALIGN=CENTER]LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE! [/CENTER ALIGN]

                   START  IMMEDIATELY   SENDING  YOUR   TROUBLES

(MONEY) ..............

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

I am going  to say about the..........
Money

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER]


[/CENTER ALIGN]

  

<FO size="3" face="Times New Roman" NT>[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER][/CENTER ALIGN]

It can buy a house

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER]
[/CENTER ALIGN]

But not a home

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER]
< /div>[/CENTER ALIGN]

It can buy a clock

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER][/CENTER ALIGN]

But not time

&nb sp;

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER]
[/CENTER ALIGN]

It can buy you a positio n

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER][/CENTER ALIGN]

But not respect

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER][/CENTER ALIGN]

It can buy you a bed
<DI align="center" v>


  [CENTER ALIGN=CENTER]
[/CENTER ALIGN]

But not sleep

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER][/CENTER ALIGN]

It can buy y ou a book

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER][/CENTER ALIGN]

But not knowledge

  

It can buy you medicine

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER][/CENTER ALIGN]

But not health

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER][/CENTER ALIGN]

It can buy you blood

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER][/CENTER ALIGN]

But not life

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER][/CENTER ALIGN]

So you see money isn't ever ything
[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER]And it often causes pain and suffering   

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER]
[/CENTER ALIGN]I tell you this because I am your friend
[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER]
And as your friend I want to [/CENTER ALIGN]

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER]
Take away your pain and suffering!! [/CENTER ALIGN]

  

[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER][/CENTER ALIGN]
So
Send me all your money< /B>
[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER]

And I will suffer for you! [/CENTER ALIGN]
[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER][/CENTER ALIGN]

Cash only please!

After all, what are friends for, right??
[CENTER ALIGN=CENTER]
[/CENTER ALIGN]
I HOPE THIS MADE YOU SMILE!!! [CENTER ALIGN=CENTER]LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE! [/CENTER ALIGN]

                   START  IMMEDIATELY   SENDING  YOUR   TROUBLES

(MONEY) ..............

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

[Kr_iyer]

Dear Web Administrator,

Sorry about this mess html codes codes have messed it up. I will avoid it, here after. Those who are interestedin the joke can email me.

I am truly sorry

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

Dear Web Administrator,

Sorry about this mess html codes codes have messed it up. I will avoid it, here after. Those who are interestedin the joke can email me.

I am truly sorry

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

[Kr_iyer]

Dear Web Administrator,

I Request you to delete above mess

Once again sorry

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

Dear Web Administrator,

I Request you to delete above mess

Once again sorry

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

[Kr_iyer]

=================================================
DRIVING LAISONENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM
-----------------------------------------------------------------


NOTE: Please do not soot the person at the applikason kounter.
He will give you the Laisonse if you pay him.

For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason.


1. Last name:

(_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey  (_) Misra (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

2. First name:

(_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

3. Age:

(_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty  (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

4. Sex: ____ M _____ P(F) _____ not sure _____not applicable

5. Chappal Size: ____ Lepht ____ Right

6.Occupason:

(_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelwaan (_) House wife (_) Un-employed

(Check karet box)

7. Number of children libing in the household: ___

8. Number that are yours: ___

9. Mather name: _______________________

10. Phather Name: ____________________ (If not no,leave blank)

11. Ejjucason: ! 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

12. Dental rekard:

(_) Ellow (_) Berownish-ellow (_) Berown (_) Belack (_) Other -__________ Give egjhakt color

(Check karet box)

13.Your thumb imparesson :
____________________________

(If you are copying from another applikason pharom, please do not copy thumb impression also. Please
provide your own thumb impression.)

PELEASE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS

Use thumb on your lepht hand only. If you dont have lepht hand, use your thumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb on lepht hand.

NOTE : IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DRIVE.

WE ARE VARY ISTRICT ABOUT THIS

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

=================================================
DRIVING LAISONENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM
-----------------------------------------------------------------


NOTE: Please do not soot the person at the applikason kounter.
He will give you the Laisonse if you pay him.

For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason.


1. Last name:

(_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey  (_) Misra (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

2. First name:

(_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

3. Age:

(_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty  (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

4. Sex: ____ M _____ P(F) _____ not sure _____not applicable

5. Chappal Size: ____ Lepht ____ Right

6.Occupason:

(_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelwaan (_) House wife (_) Un-employed

(Check karet box)

7. Number of children libing in the household: ___

8. Number that are yours: ___

9. Mather name: _______________________

10. Phather Name: ____________________ (If not no,leave blank)

11. Ejjucason: ! 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

12. Dental rekard:

(_) Ellow (_) Berownish-ellow (_) Berown (_) Belack (_) Other -__________ Give egjhakt color

(Check karet box)

13.Your thumb imparesson :
____________________________

(If you are copying from another applikason pharom, please do not copy thumb impression also. Please
provide your own thumb impression.)

PELEASE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS

Use thumb on your lepht hand only. If you dont have lepht hand, use your thumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb on lepht hand.

NOTE : IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DRIVE.

WE ARE VARY ISTRICT ABOUT THIS

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

[Kr_iyer]

Beep.)

Secretary: - Mr. President, Condoleeza Rice is here to see you.
George B. : - Good, send her in.
Secretary: - Yessir.

(Hangs up. Condi enters.)

Condoleeza: - Good morning, Mr. President.
George B. : - Oh Condoleeza, nice to see you. What's happening?
Condoleeza : - Well, Mr. President, I have the report here about the
new leader in <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China.
George B. : - Great, Condi. Lay it on me.
Condoleeza : - Mr. President, Hu is the new leader of <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China.
George B. : - Well, that's what I want to know.
Condoleeza : - But that's what I'm telling you, Mr. President.
George B. : - Well, that's what I'm asking you, Condie. Who is the
new leader of <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China?
Condoleeza : - Yes.
George B. : - I mean the fellow's name.
Condoleeza : - Hu.
George B. : - The guy in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China.
Condoleeza : - Hu.
George B. : - The new leader of <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China.
Condoleeza : - Hu.
George B. : - The Chinaman!
Condoleeza : - Hu is leading <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China, Mr. President.
George B. : - Whaddya' asking me for?
Condoleeza : - I'm telling you Hu is leading <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China.
George B. : - Well, I'm asking you, Condie. Who is leading <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China?
Condoleeza : - That's the man's name.
George B. : - That's who's name?
Condoleeza : - Yes.

(Pause.)

George B. : - Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new
leader of <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China?
Condoleeza : - Yes, sir.
George B. : - Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China? I thought he was in
the <st1:place w:st="on">Middle East.
Condoleeza : - That's correct.
George B. : - Then who is in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China?
Condoleeza : - Yes, sir.
George B. : - Yassir is in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China?
Condoleeza : - No, sir.
George B. : - Then who is?
Condoleeza : - Yes, sir.
George B. : - Yassir?
Condoleeza : - No, sir.

(Pause. Crumples paper)

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

Beep.)

Secretary: - Mr. President, Condoleeza Rice is here to see you.
George B. : - Good, send her in.
Secretary: - Yessir.

(Hangs up. Condi enters.)

Condoleeza: - Good morning, Mr. President.
George B. : - Oh Condoleeza, nice to see you. What's happening?
Condoleeza : - Well, Mr. President, I have the report here about the
new leader in <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China.
George B. : - Great, Condi. Lay it on me.
Condoleeza : - Mr. President, Hu is the new leader of <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China.
George B. : - Well, that's what I want to know.
Condoleeza : - But that's what I'm telling you, Mr. President.
George B. : - Well, that's what I'm asking you, Condie. Who is the
new leader of <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China?
Condoleeza : - Yes.
George B. : - I mean the fellow's name.
Condoleeza : - Hu.
George B. : - The guy in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China.
Condoleeza : - Hu.
George B. : - The new leader of <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China.
Condoleeza : - Hu.
George B. : - The Chinaman!
Condoleeza : - Hu is leading <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China, Mr. President.
George B. : - Whaddya' asking me for?
Condoleeza : - I'm telling you Hu is leading <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China.
George B. : - Well, I'm asking you, Condie. Who is leading <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China?
Condoleeza : - That's the man's name.
George B. : - That's who's name?
Condoleeza : - Yes.

(Pause.)

George B. : - Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new
leader of <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China?
Condoleeza : - Yes, sir.
George B. : - Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China? I thought he was in
the <st1:place w:st="on">Middle East.
Condoleeza : - That's correct.
George B. : - Then who is in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China?
Condoleeza : - Yes, sir.
George B. : - Yassir is in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China?
Condoleeza : - No, sir.
George B. : - Then who is?
Condoleeza : - Yes, sir.
George B. : - Yassir?
Condoleeza : - No, sir.

(Pause. Crumples paper)

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE