Ability Forum

[Sachin]

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world.

So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to China.

On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read "$10,000 per call".

The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.
The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.

The American thanked the priest and went along his way.

Next stop was in Japan. There, at a very large
cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it.

He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in China and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.

She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God.

"O.K., thank you," said the American.

He then traveled to Pakistan, Srilanka, Russia, Germany and France.

In every church he saw the same golden telephone
with the same "$10,000 per call" sign under it.


The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to  India to see if Indians had the same phone.

He arrived in India, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read "One Rupee per call."

The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign.  "Father, I've traveled all over World and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but everywhere the price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?"

The priest smiled and answered, "You're in Kerala, the God's own country", now, son - it's a local call.


KEEP SMILING


Sachin

This joke has been happily submitted by another member
Will others take note and start posting somethin to smile about please !!!

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world.

So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to China.

On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read "$10,000 per call".

The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.
The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.

The American thanked the priest and went along his way.

Next stop was in Japan. There, at a very large
cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it.

He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in China and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.

She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God.

"O.K., thank you," said the American.

He then traveled to Pakistan, Srilanka, Russia, Germany and France.

In every church he saw the same golden telephone
with the same "$10,000 per call" sign under it.


The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to  India to see if Indians had the same phone.

He arrived in India, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read "One Rupee per call."

The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign.  "Father, I've traveled all over World and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but everywhere the price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?"

The priest smiled and answered, "You're in Kerala, the God's own country", now, son - it's a local call.


KEEP SMILING


Sachin

This joke has been happily submitted by another member
Will others take note and start posting somethin to smile about please !!!

[Adverts]

[Sachin]

Another one !!

----------------

Before Marriage:


He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

She: Do you want me to leave?

He: NO! Don't even think about it.

She: Do you love me?

He: Of course!

She: Have you ever cheated on me?

He: NO! Why are  you asking?

She: Will you kiss me?

He: Yes!

She: Will you hit me?

He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!

She: Can I trust you?

He: Yes.



For what happens after Marriage, just read the text from bottom up!!!


Cheers

Sachin

Another one !!

----------------

Before Marriage:


He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

She: Do you want me to leave?

He: NO! Don't even think about it.

She: Do you love me?

He: Of course!

She: Have you ever cheated on me?

He: NO! Why are  you asking?

She: Will you kiss me?

He: Yes!

She: Will you hit me?

He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!

She: Can I trust you?

He: Yes.



For what happens after Marriage, just read the text from bottom up!!!


Cheers

Sachin

[Vic]

Hello all,

I love funny car stickers (the ones on the rear window and bumper).  Here's a list of the ones I came across & really liked:
(I know I need to get a life & probably work out something useful of my time   )

1. Hey Idiot, you're driving a car not a phonebooth
   
2. "babe on board"
   
3. "If going to church makes you a Christian, does going to the garage make you a car?"
   
4. "don't make me come down there -- God"
   
5. "Everyone is entitled to my opinion"
   
6. "Well, today was a total waste of make-up!"
   
7. Boldly Going Nowhere
   
8. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost?
   
9. Honk If Anything Falls Off
   
10. "please, not so close....I hardly know you"
    
11. "Clear the road - I'm Sixteen "
    
12. Lost a cat? Look under my tires
    
13. The Earth Is Full - Go Home
    
14. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.
    
15. Missing husband, and wheelchair. Reward for wheelchair.
    
16. TAKE REVENGE! ^^^^ on a Pigeon!
    
17. DON'T STEAL - The Government Hates Competition
    
18. "Drive It Like You Stole It!"
    
19. "Think Green - Dream About Money"
    
20. "I know the Mafia. You hit me, they hit you."
    
21. "If you can read this you are well educated and entirely to close."
    
22. (upside down) If you can read this im in trouble.
    
23. "watch out for the idiot behind me"
    
24. Buckle up... it makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car.
    
25. I like cats too. Let's exchange recipies.
    
26. Ever stop to think... and forget to start again?
    
27. Too close for missiles, switching to guns
    
28. "This car is not fast but it is in front of you"
    
29. "I love my country. It's my governement I fear."
    
30. If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
    
31. Jesus saves, Budda invests.
    
32. Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot
    
33. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
    
34. Silence is golden, duct tape is silver
    
35. Be good to your children - They'll pick your retirement home.
    
36. "I've got nothing against God, it's his fanclub I can't stand"
    
37. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now
    
38. Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else
    
39. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy
    
40. Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool
    
41. Never go to bed angry...stay up and plot your revenge
    
42. comfort the disturbed, disturb the comfortable
    
43. Relish today, ketchup tomorrow
    
44. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
    
45. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
    
46. Give me coffee and no one gets hurt!!!
    
47. You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever.

(the list is ongoing - will post more later - need to go out now to build the list   )

_________________
Vikas

AccessAbility

Hello all,

I love funny car stickers (the ones on the rear window and bumper).  Here's a list of the ones I came across & really liked:
(I know I need to get a life & probably work out something useful of my time   )

1. Hey Idiot, you're driving a car not a phonebooth
   
2. "babe on board"
   
3. "If going to church makes you a Christian, does going to the garage make you a car?"
   
4. "don't make me come down there -- God"
   
5. "Everyone is entitled to my opinion"
   
6. "Well, today was a total waste of make-up!"
   
7. Boldly Going Nowhere
   
8. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost?
   
9. Honk If Anything Falls Off
   
10. "please, not so close....I hardly know you"
    
11. "Clear the road - I'm Sixteen "
    
12. Lost a cat? Look under my tires
    
13. The Earth Is Full - Go Home
    
14. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.
    
15. Missing husband, and wheelchair. Reward for wheelchair.
    
16. TAKE REVENGE! ^^^^ on a Pigeon!
    
17. DON'T STEAL - The Government Hates Competition
    
18. "Drive It Like You Stole It!"
    
19. "Think Green - Dream About Money"
    
20. "I know the Mafia. You hit me, they hit you."
    
21. "If you can read this you are well educated and entirely to close."
    
22. (upside down) If you can read this im in trouble.
    
23. "watch out for the idiot behind me"
    
24. Buckle up... it makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car.
    
25. I like cats too. Let's exchange recipies.
    
26. Ever stop to think... and forget to start again?
    
27. Too close for missiles, switching to guns
    
28. "This car is not fast but it is in front of you"
    
29. "I love my country. It's my governement I fear."
    
30. If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
    
31. Jesus saves, Budda invests.
    
32. Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot
    
33. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
    
34. Silence is golden, duct tape is silver
    
35. Be good to your children - They'll pick your retirement home.
    
36. "I've got nothing against God, it's his fanclub I can't stand"
    
37. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now
    
38. Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else
    
39. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy
    
40. Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool
    
41. Never go to bed angry...stay up and plot your revenge
    
42. comfort the disturbed, disturb the comfortable
    
43. Relish today, ketchup tomorrow
    
44. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
    
45. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
    
46. Give me coffee and no one gets hurt!!!
    
47. You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever.

(the list is ongoing - will post more later - need to go out now to build the list   )

_________________
Vikas

AccessAbility

[neha]

LESSON 1
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a
Meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They
rub the lamp and a ghost appears.
The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are
three, I will allow one wish each"
So the eager senior manager shouted, "I want the first wish. I want to be
in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries." Pfufffff. and he was
gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be In
Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pfufffff. and
he was also gone.
The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office after
lunch at 12.35pm."
MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST"



LESSON 2
Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand,
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document,
and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young executive.
He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the
shredder machine. "I just need one copy."
LESSON II: "NEVER, NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING"



LESSON 3
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA When
the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?"
The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you
mean."
The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?"
Again, the Japanese was confused over he question.
The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you
... Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese!, etc......??? "
The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am Japanese."
A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked what kind Of
'key' was he.
The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of -kee'am I
?!"
The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkey, or monkey?"
LESSON III: "NEVER INSULT ANYONE"

LESSON 1
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a
Meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They
rub the lamp and a ghost appears.
The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are
three, I will allow one wish each"
So the eager senior manager shouted, "I want the first wish. I want to be
in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries." Pfufffff. and he was
gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be In
Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pfufffff. and
he was also gone.
The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office after
lunch at 12.35pm."
MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST"



LESSON 2
Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand,
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document,
and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young executive.
He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the
shredder machine. "I just need one copy."
LESSON II: "NEVER, NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING"



LESSON 3
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA When
the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?"
The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you
mean."
The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?"
Again, the Japanese was confused over he question.
The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you
... Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese!, etc......??? "
The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am Japanese."
A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked what kind Of
'key' was he.
The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of -kee'am I
?!"
The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkey, or monkey?"
LESSON III: "NEVER INSULT ANYONE"

[Vic]

Doctor : "What would you do first if you caught Rabies?"
Trainee Nurse : "First of all I'll bite my mother in law".

An actress was filling up a form. There was a column in the form where one was required
to state marital status," Married / Unmarried".
And she wrote: "Occasionally Married".

Old woman : "Doctor I have severe pain in my right leg".
Doctor : "That is due to old age".
Old woman : "But both of my legs are of the same age".
Doctor : ?!

Teacher : "Why is honesty the best policy?"
Student : "Because there is hardly any competition".

_________________
Vikas

AccessAbility

Doctor : "What would you do first if you caught Rabies?"
Trainee Nurse : "First of all I'll bite my mother in law".

An actress was filling up a form. There was a column in the form where one was required
to state marital status," Married / Unmarried".
And she wrote: "Occasionally Married".

Old woman : "Doctor I have severe pain in my right leg".
Doctor : "That is due to old age".
Old woman : "But both of my legs are of the same age".
Doctor : ?!

Teacher : "Why is honesty the best policy?"
Student : "Because there is hardly any competition".

_________________
Vikas

AccessAbility

[THOMASJACOB]

A mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner................who lives with a girl room mate Sunita
During the course of the meal, his mother could'nt help but notice how pretty, Kumar's roomate was.
She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder, if there was more between Kumar and his room mate, that met the eye.

Reading his moms thoughts, Kumar volunteered "I know mom what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just room mates".

About a week later, Sunita came to Kumar saying, Ever since your mother came for dinner last time, I have been unable to find the silver chutney jar, You dont suppose she took it, do you???Kumar said "Well, I doubt it , but I will email her, just to be sure".

So he sat down at wrote -
Dear Mother,
I am not saying that you 'did' take the chutney jar from our house, I am not saying that "you did not" take the chutney jar, but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner"
Love,
Kumar

After some days Kumar received an e-mail from his mother -
Dear Son,
I am not saying that you "do" sleep with Sunita, and I am not saying that you "do not" sleep with Sunita, but the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would by now have found the chutney jar under her pillow.......................
Love,
Mom

A mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner................who lives with a girl room mate Sunita
During the course of the meal, his mother could'nt help but notice how pretty, Kumar's roomate was.
She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder, if there was more between Kumar and his room mate, that met the eye.

Reading his moms thoughts, Kumar volunteered "I know mom what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just room mates".

About a week later, Sunita came to Kumar saying, Ever since your mother came for dinner last time, I have been unable to find the silver chutney jar, You dont suppose she took it, do you???Kumar said "Well, I doubt it , but I will email her, just to be sure".

So he sat down at wrote -
Dear Mother,
I am not saying that you 'did' take the chutney jar from our house, I am not saying that "you did not" take the chutney jar, but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner"
Love,
Kumar

After some days Kumar received an e-mail from his mother -
Dear Son,
I am not saying that you "do" sleep with Sunita, and I am not saying that you "do not" sleep with Sunita, but the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would by now have found the chutney jar under her pillow.......................
Love,
Mom

[Vic]

Q. What should Kabul get for its air defense system?
A. A refund.

Q. Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A. They're trying to get away from the noise

Q. Sachin's favorite bird?
A.  Duck

Q. What should Dravid do now?
A. Go in for a max life insurance!

_________________
Vikas

AccessAbility

Q. What should Kabul get for its air defense system?
A. A refund.

Q. Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A. They're trying to get away from the noise

Q. Sachin's favorite bird?
A.  Duck

Q. What should Dravid do now?
A. Go in for a max life insurance!

_________________
Vikas

AccessAbility

[neha]

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.



To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.  



The road to success??.. Is always under construction.



Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.



In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.  



All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening, or married to someone else!





Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak




Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works.




You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.



As soon as you mention something?? if it is good, it is taken?. If it is bad, it happens.



If you have paper, you don't have a pen??. If you have a pen, you don't have paper?? if you have both, no one calls.



Irrespective of the direction of the wind,
the smoke from the cigarette will always
tend to go to the non-smoker.

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.



To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.  



The road to success??.. Is always under construction.



Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.



In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.  



All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening, or married to someone else!





Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak




Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works.




You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.



As soon as you mention something?? if it is good, it is taken?. If it is bad, it happens.



If you have paper, you don't have a pen??. If you have a pen, you don't have paper?? if you have both, no one calls.



Irrespective of the direction of the wind,
the smoke from the cigarette will always
tend to go to the non-smoker.

[Vic]

The best of Gulshan Grover

Q. A reporter once asked Gullu, "What is the main reason for divorce?"
A. Grinned Gullu “Marriage."

Q. How does Gulshan kill a fish?
A. He drowns it.

Gulshan Grover was sitting at a bar in L.A. The man to his left tells the bar tender, "JOHNNY WALKER, SINGLE." The man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE." Then the bar tender approaches Gullu and asks, "And you sir?" Gullu replies nonchalantly, "GULSHAN GROVER, MARRIED."

Once Gulshan Grover was coming out of an airport. As there was a huge rush the security told him "WAIT PLEASE." To which Gullu replied. "Seventy Kg's." He then proceeded to move on.

_________________
Vikas

AccessAbility

The best of Gulshan Grover

Q. A reporter once asked Gullu, "What is the main reason for divorce?"
A. Grinned Gullu “Marriage."

Q. How does Gulshan kill a fish?
A. He drowns it.

Gulshan Grover was sitting at a bar in L.A. The man to his left tells the bar tender, "JOHNNY WALKER, SINGLE." The man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE." Then the bar tender approaches Gullu and asks, "And you sir?" Gullu replies nonchalantly, "GULSHAN GROVER, MARRIED."

Once Gulshan Grover was coming out of an airport. As there was a huge rush the security told him "WAIT PLEASE." To which Gullu replied. "Seventy Kg's." He then proceeded to move on.

_________________
Vikas

AccessAbility

[Sachin]

A lady manager of a big reputed office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into her office.


" What is your name?" was the first thing she asked the new guy.

"John ," the new guy replied.


She scowled, "Look... I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority.

I refer to my employees by their last name only ... Smith, Jones, Baker ...that's all.


I am to be referred to only as Mrs. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"

The new guy sighed, "Darling..... ....... My name is John Darling."


" Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is . . .


  

Sachin.....

A lady manager of a big reputed office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into her office.


" What is your name?" was the first thing she asked the new guy.

"John ," the new guy replied.


She scowled, "Look... I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority.

I refer to my employees by their last name only ... Smith, Jones, Baker ...that's all.


I am to be referred to only as Mrs. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"

The new guy sighed, "Darling..... ....... My name is John Darling."


" Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is . . .


  

Sachin.....

[Sachin]

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to
move faster than the one you are in now.

LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an
engaged one.

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease,
your
nose will begin to itch.

LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.

LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because
you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know
increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine
won't work, it will!

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional
to the reach.

THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle
arrive last.

_________________
Cheers !

Sachin

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to
move faster than the one you are in now.

LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an
engaged one.

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease,
your
nose will begin to itch.

LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.

LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because
you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know
increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine
won't work, it will!

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional
to the reach.

THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle
arrive last.

_________________
Cheers !

Sachin

[Sachin]

If money doesnt grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Why doesnt glue stick to its bottle?

Why do you still call it building when its already built?

If its true that we are here to help others,what are others here for?

if you arent supposed to drink and drive why do bars have parking lots?

We are a funny bunch of people. Living in a serìously funny world...

Anyone has answers to the above, please go ahead and reply!

_________________
Cheers !

Sachin

If money doesnt grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Why doesnt glue stick to its bottle?

Why do you still call it building when its already built?

If its true that we are here to help others,what are others here for?

if you arent supposed to drink and drive why do bars have parking lots?

We are a funny bunch of people. Living in a serìously funny world...

Anyone has answers to the above, please go ahead and reply!

_________________
Cheers !

Sachin

[Sachin]

Very intresting...*** What Are They..!?........


1) If we say 'MUMMY', they come together & go apart when we say DADDY':
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
LIPS


*********

2) What goes up & never comes down:
.


.
.
.
.
.
.
.
AGE


*********

3) Patches over patches but no stitches :
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
CABBAGE


*********

4) What is that we cannot see, but is always before you:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
FUTURE


*********

5) What goes up & down a hill, but never moves:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
ROAD


*********

6) You can never wet it:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
SHADOW


*********

7) What belongs to You, but used by your friends more often you do:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
YOUR NAME

_________________
Cheers !

Sachin

Very intresting...*** What Are They..!?........


1) If we say 'MUMMY', they come together & go apart when we say DADDY':
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
LIPS


*********

2) What goes up & never comes down:
.


.
.
.
.
.
.
.
AGE


*********

3) Patches over patches but no stitches :
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
CABBAGE


*********

4) What is that we cannot see, but is always before you:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
FUTURE


*********

5) What goes up & down a hill, but never moves:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
ROAD


*********

6) You can never wet it:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
SHADOW


*********

7) What belongs to You, but used by your friends more often you do:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
YOUR NAME

_________________
Cheers !

Sachin

[Sachin]

Once a man was waiting for a taxi. A beggar came along and asked him for some money.
The man ignored him. But being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him.
The man became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with some money.

Suddenly an idea struck him. He told the beggar, "I do not have money, but if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you." "I would have bought a cup of tea", replied the beggar. The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea". He then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar. The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious to health." The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told the beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good". The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the brain and damages the liver".

The man smiled again and asked the beggar to come to his home with him. Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of receiving at least something from the man.

But he still had his doubts and asked the man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with you".

The man replied.................................................

"My wife always wanted to see how a man with no Bad habits looks like".

_________________
Cheers !

Sachin

Once a man was waiting for a taxi. A beggar came along and asked him for some money.
The man ignored him. But being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him.
The man became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with some money.

Suddenly an idea struck him. He told the beggar, "I do not have money, but if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you." "I would have bought a cup of tea", replied the beggar. The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea". He then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar. The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious to health." The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told the beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good". The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the brain and damages the liver".

The man smiled again and asked the beggar to come to his home with him. Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of receiving at least something from the man.

But he still had his doubts and asked the man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with you".

The man replied.................................................

"My wife always wanted to see how a man with no Bad habits looks like".

_________________
Cheers !

Sachin

[Sachin]

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid .

Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.


Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.


"That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den.



He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens ." then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?" No response.



So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"



Still no response. Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, Honey, what's for dinner?"


Again he gets no response so; He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?" Again there is no response. So he walks right up behind her.


"Honey, what's for dinner?"


"James, for the FIFTH time I've said, CHICKEN !"

_________________
Cheers !

Sachin

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid .

Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.


Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.


"That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den.



He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens ." then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?" No response.



So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"



Still no response. Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, Honey, what's for dinner?"


Again he gets no response so; He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?" Again there is no response. So he walks right up behind her.


"Honey, what's for dinner?"


"James, for the FIFTH time I've said, CHICKEN !"

_________________
Cheers !

Sachin