Ability Forum

[srividyaa]

Some SIDE - EFFECTS of Working in IT sector
------------------------------------------------------------



Bhavik

I once went out to the market wearing my Infosys ID card and did not realize till my friend told me why I was wearing it !!!!



Ashok

few days back I slept at 11:30 in the ni8 and woke up in the morning at 7:00 and suddenly thought that I haven't completed 9.15 hours and laughed at myself when I realised abt that.



Jyotsna

One from me too...

Just after our training completion in Mysore Dc and postings to Pune, me and my friends went out for dinner in one of the best restaurants. .

And as I finished.. I started walking towards the Basin with plates in my hand..



Abhijeet

Jus to add...

Once I was on call with my father and mom was not around. I went on to ask, "why is she not attending the status call?"



Anup

I don't login to orkut, yahoo, gmail, youtube, etc.. at my personal internet connection at home... thinking it will be blocked any way.

Till I realize - I am at home.



Rohit

Yeah sometimes it do happens with me also........ ....while writing personal mails also........ .I jus use the way as if I am writing to onsite or some senior person...... ..

Jus forget that we are jus mailing our friends..... .........

And keeping hands in front of tap for waiting water to drop by itself is very frequent with me.......... .....I jus forget that we have to turn on and off the tap......... ..



Nidhi

Awesome!!

Once after talking to one of my friend. I ended the conversation saying ..." Ok bye...in case of any issues will call u back"

(Hilarious!)



Nisha

Sometimes when I mistakenly delete a message

from my mobile, I hope for a second, maybe its in the recycle bin



Farina

I was about to throw my hanky into the bin after drying my hand.



Bhabani

Once I was flaashing my ID card instead of unlocking the door with the keys.



Nisha

Kinda a same experience for me too..

I gave my office mail id and pwd to access Gmail and wondered when did they become invalid???



Sandy

I have a experience to share tooo .. I was earlier working at the back office of an international Bank. We used to 'dispatch' lot of Credit / Debit cards and statements for the customers and track its delivery later.

Once my granma was admitted in a hospital, my team mate once casually asked me " howz ur granma doing now ? still in hospital ? " ... and i replied to her " She is better now , she will dispatched from the hospital tomorrow !"

This was followed by a loud laugh in the entire bay !



Sandeep

Once I went to a pharmacy n asked for a tab....pharmacist asked whr I want 250mg r 500mg.....suddenly I replied as 256mg...lol. ...thank god he didn't noticed tht....



Ashwin

Me getting a thought of doing an Alt+Tab while switching from a news channel to the DVD while watching TV.



Vidyarthi

And I - after a forty hour marathon in Bhubaneshwar with Powerbuilder, decided to take a break and went to a movie. In the middle of the movie, when I wanted to check the time, I kept repeatedly glancing at the bottom right corner of the silver screen!



Venu

Few of my friends and myself decided to go out for dinner. The place wasn't fixed yet. I said we shall decide it "run time"



Krishna

When I went to a movie theatre from office directly.. I showed the guy at the entrance my ID card and walked in... he had to call me back asking the ticket...



Rama

One late night when I went home after work, I was trying to flaash my id card to open the lock and only after few secs, I realised what i'm trying to do



Sridhar

Once I went to have juice at the local juice vendor and innocuously asked him whether he had a plain 'version' of lemonade.



Arun

Few years back my shogun engine stopped on Bangalore MG Road as the petrol came to reserve. I told my friend I need to restart my bike!



Satya

The other day I was hearing one guy talking of a "Standalone" house.. when he was actually intending a independent house... Poor broker shud have tuff time trying to find a " Alone house standing in a huge empty area... " don't know what interpretations the guy must have made.

Some SIDE - EFFECTS of Working in IT sector
------------------------------------------------------------



Bhavik

I once went out to the market wearing my Infosys ID card and did not realize till my friend told me why I was wearing it !!!!



Ashok

few days back I slept at 11:30 in the ni8 and woke up in the morning at 7:00 and suddenly thought that I haven't completed 9.15 hours and laughed at myself when I realised abt that.



Jyotsna

One from me too...

Just after our training completion in Mysore Dc and postings to Pune, me and my friends went out for dinner in one of the best restaurants. .

And as I finished.. I started walking towards the Basin with plates in my hand..



Abhijeet

Jus to add...

Once I was on call with my father and mom was not around. I went on to ask, "why is she not attending the status call?"



Anup

I don't login to orkut, yahoo, gmail, youtube, etc.. at my personal internet connection at home... thinking it will be blocked any way.

Till I realize - I am at home.



Rohit

Yeah sometimes it do happens with me also........ ....while writing personal mails also........ .I jus use the way as if I am writing to onsite or some senior person...... ..

Jus forget that we are jus mailing our friends..... .........

And keeping hands in front of tap for waiting water to drop by itself is very frequent with me.......... .....I jus forget that we have to turn on and off the tap......... ..



Nidhi

Awesome!!

Once after talking to one of my friend. I ended the conversation saying ..." Ok bye...in case of any issues will call u back"

(Hilarious!)



Nisha

Sometimes when I mistakenly delete a message

from my mobile, I hope for a second, maybe its in the recycle bin



Farina

I was about to throw my hanky into the bin after drying my hand.



Bhabani

Once I was flaashing my ID card instead of unlocking the door with the keys.



Nisha

Kinda a same experience for me too..

I gave my office mail id and pwd to access Gmail and wondered when did they become invalid???



Sandy

I have a experience to share tooo .. I was earlier working at the back office of an international Bank. We used to 'dispatch' lot of Credit / Debit cards and statements for the customers and track its delivery later.

Once my granma was admitted in a hospital, my team mate once casually asked me " howz ur granma doing now ? still in hospital ? " ... and i replied to her " She is better now , she will dispatched from the hospital tomorrow !"

This was followed by a loud laugh in the entire bay !



Sandeep

Once I went to a pharmacy n asked for a tab....pharmacist asked whr I want 250mg r 500mg.....suddenly I replied as 256mg...lol. ...thank god he didn't noticed tht....



Ashwin

Me getting a thought of doing an Alt+Tab while switching from a news channel to the DVD while watching TV.



Vidyarthi

And I - after a forty hour marathon in Bhubaneshwar with Powerbuilder, decided to take a break and went to a movie. In the middle of the movie, when I wanted to check the time, I kept repeatedly glancing at the bottom right corner of the silver screen!



Venu

Few of my friends and myself decided to go out for dinner. The place wasn't fixed yet. I said we shall decide it "run time"



Krishna

When I went to a movie theatre from office directly.. I showed the guy at the entrance my ID card and walked in... he had to call me back asking the ticket...



Rama

One late night when I went home after work, I was trying to flaash my id card to open the lock and only after few secs, I realised what i'm trying to do



Sridhar

Once I went to have juice at the local juice vendor and innocuously asked him whether he had a plain 'version' of lemonade.



Arun

Few years back my shogun engine stopped on Bangalore MG Road as the petrol came to reserve. I told my friend I need to restart my bike!



Satya

The other day I was hearing one guy talking of a "Standalone" house.. when he was actually intending a independent house... Poor broker shud have tuff time trying to find a " Alone house standing in a huge empty area... " don't know what interpretations the guy must have made.

[Adverts]

[Unnimaxx]

nice one Vidya.......

nice one Vidya.......

[Unnimaxx]

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'

The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. '

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls,
'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?'

The wife smiles demurely and says, 'Well dear you should be thankful your radardetector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.'

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,
'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'

The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir.
That's an automatic $75 fine.'

The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.'

The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks,   'WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??'

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'



             (I love this part)
  

'Only when he's been drinking.!!'

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'

The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. '

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls,
'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?'

The wife smiles demurely and says, 'Well dear you should be thankful your radardetector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.'

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,
'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'

The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir.
That's an automatic $75 fine.'

The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.'

The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks,   'WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??'

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'



             (I love this part)
  

'Only when he's been drinking.!!'

[Chloe12]

Thanks for the laughs! I really enjoy reading it...





KPO Knowledge Process Outsourcing

Thanks for the laughs! I really enjoy reading it...





KPO Knowledge Process Outsourcing

[Madman]

That was really funny. The husband is courageous enough to go against his wife...when he's drunk.

Real Estate Vietnam

That was really funny. The husband is courageous enough to go against his wife...when he's drunk.

Real Estate Vietnam

[srividyaa]

Sherlock holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent n fall asleep.
Some hours later Holmes wakes up his faithful friend.
'watson, look up at the sky and tell me what do you see?'
Watson replies, ' I see millions of stars'
'What does that tell you?'
Watson ponders for a minute. 'Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are
millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that
Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident
the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meterologically, it seems we
will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?'
Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks'Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our
tent'

Sherlock holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent n fall asleep.
Some hours later Holmes wakes up his faithful friend.
'watson, look up at the sky and tell me what do you see?'
Watson replies, ' I see millions of stars'
'What does that tell you?'
Watson ponders for a minute. 'Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are
millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that
Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident
the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meterologically, it seems we
will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?'
Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks'Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our
tent'

[srividyaa]

The teacher asks Tintumon if he knows his numbers.
“Yes,” he says. “My daddy taught me.”
“Can you tell me what comes after three?”
“Four,” answers Tintumon.
“What comes after six?”
“Seven,” answers Tintumon.
“Very good,” says the teacher. “Your father did a very fine job.
What comes after ten?”
“A jack,” answers Tintumon.

Tintumol : Honey, if I die would you get married again?
Tintumon : No dear.
Tintumon : I’m sure you would.
Annoyed Tintumon : Okay, I would.
Tintumol : Would you let her sleep in our bed?
Tintumon: Ya, I guess so.
Tintumol : Would you let her wear my clothes.
Tintumon: No, she is taller than you

Tintumon calls press to print death of his grandpa
Clerk: Rs 50/ word
Tintumon: Grandpa dead
Clerk: Sorry min 5 words
Tintumon: Grandpa dead, wheel chair for sale!!

Customer : Everyday you charge me money for a cup of coffee. How wonderful it would be if you serve me coffee free of cost today.
Tintumon: Sir, everyday you drink coffee from a filled cup. How wonderful it would be if you drink from an empty cup today !!!

Tintumon: I was feeling so sleepy this morning that I tossed a coin to decide whether I should attend class or go back to bed.
Dundumon: So, what did you finally do?
Tintumon: I had to toss 10 times before I could finally go back to bed.

Tintumon’s mother was drying some rice powder by spreading it on a sheet. After some time she noticed that Tintumon was riding his toy car over the powder. When she asked what he is doing, Tintumon answerd “mummy I am riding a Desert Safari.”

FATHER: How Are Your Grades, tintu?.
TINTUMON: Under Water, Dad…
FATHER: Under Water? What Do You Mean?.
TINTUMON: They”Re Below C Level

CYCLE -Macmillan
PLANE -Wright brothers
TELEPHONE -GrahamBell
TELESCOPE -Galileo
EXAMS????
We are searching for that RASCAL..!!By Tintu Mon.

dundu mol:If v gt married stop smokng.
tintumon:Ok!
dundumol   alt="" class=wp-smiley v:shapes="_x0000_i1025"> rinkng too.
tintumon:Ok!
dundumol:and goin to the night club too.
tintu mon:-Yes..
dundumol:-What else can u leave??
tintumon:- the idea of marrying u!!

Dad to Tintu mon: when I beat you how did you control your anger?
Tintu mon: I start cleaning the toilet.
Dad: How does that satisfy you?
Tintu mon: I clean it with your tooth brush.

Tintumon, the three year old, put his shoes on by himself. His father, noticed that the left shoe was on the right foot and vice-versa. He sat Tintumon down on a chair and said quietly, ‘Tintumon, your shoes are on the wrong feet.’
He looked up at his father with a quizzical expression and replied, ‘Don’t mess me about, Dad, I know they’re my feet.’

tintumon was in the bath tub, and his mom was washing his hair. She said to him, “Wow, your hair is growing so fast! You need a haircut again.”
tintumon replied, “Maybe you should stop watering it so much.”

father and tintumon were standing in front of the tiger’s cage at the zoo. The father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are, and tintumon was taking it all in with a serious expression.
Dad,” tinumon said finally, “if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up …”
“Yes, son?” the father said expectantly.
“What bus should I take home?” tinumon finished.

Tintumol:”I dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day. What do you think it means?”
“You’ll know tomorrow.” tintumon said.
next day, Tintumon came with a small package and gave it to tintumol. Delighted, she opened it,only to find a book entitled “The meaning of dreams”.

To the principal ,
Sir,
It was so many strikes & holidays in last year.so 2 complete our syllabus ,please open college on 14th february
By
Tintumon

Tintumon called FM radio & said
“I’ve found a purse with Rs.15000/- a credit card & an ID card of Mr.Mani, No.13,Halls road,..….
Radio jocky : How honest ….so you want to return his purse…?
Tintumon : no……. i just wanted to dedicate a sad song for him…

Teacher: Didn’t you promise to behave?
Tintumon: Yes, Sir.
Teacher: And didn’t I promise to punish you if you didn’t?
Tintumon: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don’t expect you to keep yours.

Teacher: “How stupid you are? You can not multiply 88 by 25? can’t you see that DUNDU can do it in less than no time?”
Tintumon: “I should not be surprised. They say that fools are multiplying rapidly these days..!!!”

In class, the teacher showed pictures of various birds. Then he asked, “What kinds of bird do you like best, tintumon?”
tintumon answered- “Fried chicken, sir

Teacher: ”tintumone, give me three reasons why you know the Earth to be round.
Tintumon: ”Mum says so, Dad says so, and you say so!

Tintumon to his mother: “Mom, remember that vase you always worried I’d break?”
“Yes. What about it?” she asked.
Tintumon: “Your worries are over!”

Dundumon: What is the difference between “complete and finish”?
Tintumon: When you marry a right girl you are complete and when you marry the wrong one you are finished !!!!!

Father sends Tintumon to bed. Five minutes later, Tintumon screams, “Dad! Can you get me a glass of water?”
The dad says, “No. You had your chance.”
A minute later Tintumon again Screams, “Dad! Can you get me a glass of water?”
The dad says, “No. You had your chance. Next time you ask, I’ll come up there and spank you.”
“Dad! When you come up to spank me, can you bring me a glass or water?”

Dundumon: I am so kanjoos that I went alone for my shopping and saved half the money.
Tintumon: That is nothing, I saved full money. I sent my wife for shopping with a friend.

Dundumon: Why didn’t you marry?
Tintumon: I was searching for an
ideal match.
Dundumon: So, you didn’t find an ideal girl?
Tintumon: I found one.
Dundumon: Then?
Tintumon: She was also searching for an ideal match.

A priest was talking to a group of kids about “being good” and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he asked, “Where do you want to go?”
“Heaven! Heaven!” Yelled Tintumol..
“And what do you have to be to get there?” asked the priest.
“Dead!” Yelled Tintumon.

The Teacher had asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week.
Tintumon got up to read his. It began, “My daddy fell in well last week.”
“Good Lord!” the teacher exclaimed. “Is he OK?”
“He must be,” said Tintumon. “He stopped calling for help yesterday.”

man: Why are you crying?
tintumon: The elephant is dead.
man: Was he your pet?
tintumon: No, but I’m the one who must dig his grave.

Teacher: “why is your homework in your Dads writing?”
Tintumon: ““I used his pen.”

tintumon was late , and when he reached school at 9.30, the teacher yelled, “You should’ve been here at 9:00!”
tintumon: “Why? What happened at 9:00?”

The teacher asks Tintumon if he knows his numbers.
“Yes,” he says. “My daddy taught me.”
“Can you tell me what comes after three?”
“Four,” answers Tintumon.
“What comes after six?”
“Seven,” answers Tintumon.
“Very good,” says the teacher. “Your father did a very fine job.
What comes after ten?”
“A jack,” answers Tintumon.

Tintumol : Honey, if I die would you get married again?
Tintumon : No dear.
Tintumon : I’m sure you would.
Annoyed Tintumon : Okay, I would.
Tintumol : Would you let her sleep in our bed?
Tintumon: Ya, I guess so.
Tintumol : Would you let her wear my clothes.
Tintumon: No, she is taller than you

Tintumon calls press to print death of his grandpa
Clerk: Rs 50/ word
Tintumon: Grandpa dead
Clerk: Sorry min 5 words
Tintumon: Grandpa dead, wheel chair for sale!!

Customer : Everyday you charge me money for a cup of coffee. How wonderful it would be if you serve me coffee free of cost today.
Tintumon: Sir, everyday you drink coffee from a filled cup. How wonderful it would be if you drink from an empty cup today !!!

Tintumon: I was feeling so sleepy this morning that I tossed a coin to decide whether I should attend class or go back to bed.
Dundumon: So, what did you finally do?
Tintumon: I had to toss 10 times before I could finally go back to bed.

Tintumon’s mother was drying some rice powder by spreading it on a sheet. After some time she noticed that Tintumon was riding his toy car over the powder. When she asked what he is doing, Tintumon answerd “mummy I am riding a Desert Safari.”

FATHER: How Are Your Grades, tintu?.
TINTUMON: Under Water, Dad…
FATHER: Under Water? What Do You Mean?.
TINTUMON: They”Re Below C Level

CYCLE -Macmillan
PLANE -Wright brothers
TELEPHONE -GrahamBell
TELESCOPE -Galileo
EXAMS????
We are searching for that RASCAL..!!By Tintu Mon.

dundu mol:If v gt married stop smokng.
tintumon:Ok!
dundumol   alt="" class=wp-smiley v:shapes="_x0000_i1025"> rinkng too.
tintumon:Ok!
dundumol:and goin to the night club too.
tintu mon:-Yes..
dundumol:-What else can u leave??
tintumon:- the idea of marrying u!!

Dad to Tintu mon: when I beat you how did you control your anger?
Tintu mon: I start cleaning the toilet.
Dad: How does that satisfy you?
Tintu mon: I clean it with your tooth brush.

Tintumon, the three year old, put his shoes on by himself. His father, noticed that the left shoe was on the right foot and vice-versa. He sat Tintumon down on a chair and said quietly, ‘Tintumon, your shoes are on the wrong feet.’
He looked up at his father with a quizzical expression and replied, ‘Don’t mess me about, Dad, I know they’re my feet.’

tintumon was in the bath tub, and his mom was washing his hair. She said to him, “Wow, your hair is growing so fast! You need a haircut again.”
tintumon replied, “Maybe you should stop watering it so much.”

father and tintumon were standing in front of the tiger’s cage at the zoo. The father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are, and tintumon was taking it all in with a serious expression.
Dad,” tinumon said finally, “if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up …”
“Yes, son?” the father said expectantly.
“What bus should I take home?” tinumon finished.

Tintumol:”I dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day. What do you think it means?”
“You’ll know tomorrow.” tintumon said.
next day, Tintumon came with a small package and gave it to tintumol. Delighted, she opened it,only to find a book entitled “The meaning of dreams”.

To the principal ,
Sir,
It was so many strikes & holidays in last year.so 2 complete our syllabus ,please open college on 14th february
By
Tintumon

Tintumon called FM radio & said
“I’ve found a purse with Rs.15000/- a credit card & an ID card of Mr.Mani, No.13,Halls road,..….
Radio jocky : How honest ….so you want to return his purse…?
Tintumon : no……. i just wanted to dedicate a sad song for him…

Teacher: Didn’t you promise to behave?
Tintumon: Yes, Sir.
Teacher: And didn’t I promise to punish you if you didn’t?
Tintumon: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don’t expect you to keep yours.

Teacher: “How stupid you are? You can not multiply 88 by 25? can’t you see that DUNDU can do it in less than no time?”
Tintumon: “I should not be surprised. They say that fools are multiplying rapidly these days..!!!”

In class, the teacher showed pictures of various birds. Then he asked, “What kinds of bird do you like best, tintumon?”
tintumon answered- “Fried chicken, sir

Teacher: ”tintumone, give me three reasons why you know the Earth to be round.
Tintumon: ”Mum says so, Dad says so, and you say so!

Tintumon to his mother: “Mom, remember that vase you always worried I’d break?”
“Yes. What about it?” she asked.
Tintumon: “Your worries are over!”

Dundumon: What is the difference between “complete and finish”?
Tintumon: When you marry a right girl you are complete and when you marry the wrong one you are finished !!!!!

Father sends Tintumon to bed. Five minutes later, Tintumon screams, “Dad! Can you get me a glass of water?”
The dad says, “No. You had your chance.”
A minute later Tintumon again Screams, “Dad! Can you get me a glass of water?”
The dad says, “No. You had your chance. Next time you ask, I’ll come up there and spank you.”
“Dad! When you come up to spank me, can you bring me a glass or water?”

Dundumon: I am so kanjoos that I went alone for my shopping and saved half the money.
Tintumon: That is nothing, I saved full money. I sent my wife for shopping with a friend.

Dundumon: Why didn’t you marry?
Tintumon: I was searching for an
ideal match.
Dundumon: So, you didn’t find an ideal girl?
Tintumon: I found one.
Dundumon: Then?
Tintumon: She was also searching for an ideal match.

A priest was talking to a group of kids about “being good” and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he asked, “Where do you want to go?”
“Heaven! Heaven!” Yelled Tintumol..
“And what do you have to be to get there?” asked the priest.
“Dead!” Yelled Tintumon.

The Teacher had asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week.
Tintumon got up to read his. It began, “My daddy fell in well last week.”
“Good Lord!” the teacher exclaimed. “Is he OK?”
“He must be,” said Tintumon. “He stopped calling for help yesterday.”

man: Why are you crying?
tintumon: The elephant is dead.
man: Was he your pet?
tintumon: No, but I’m the one who must dig his grave.

Teacher: “why is your homework in your Dads writing?”
Tintumon: ““I used his pen.”

tintumon was late , and when he reached school at 9.30, the teacher yelled, “You should’ve been here at 9:00!”
tintumon: “Why? What happened at 9:00?”

[Kr_iyer]

An English professor wrote the words : "A woman without her man is nothing"

On the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.
...
All of the males in the class wrote : "A woman, without her man, is nothing."

All the females in the class wrote : "A woman: without her, man is nothing."

So to conclude, punctuation is powerful ....

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

An English professor wrote the words : "A woman without her man is nothing"

On the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.
...
All of the males in the class wrote : "A woman, without her man, is nothing."

All the females in the class wrote : "A woman: without her, man is nothing."

So to conclude, punctuation is powerful ....

_________________
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

[srividyaa]

You think English is easy???

Can you read these right the first time?

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present .

A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow..

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

1 Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'?

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'

It's easy to understand UP , meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car . At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing. A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP .

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.

When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP .

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so......... Time to shut UP !

Oh... one more thing:

What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night? U-P

You think English is easy???

Can you read these right the first time?

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present .

A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow..

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

1 Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'?

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'

It's easy to understand UP , meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car . At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing. A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP .

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.

When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP .

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so......... Time to shut UP !

Oh... one more thing:

What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night? U-P

[srividyaa]

Think about it.


UP

Read until the end.....you' ll laugh....

This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word
is 'UP.' It is listed in the
dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky
or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we
wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do
we speak UP, and why are the
officers UP for
election and why is it UP to the secretary to
write UP a
report? We call UP our friends,
brighten UP a room, polish UP the
silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We
lock UP the house and
fix UP the old
car.

At other times this little word has real special
meaning. People stir UP trouble,
line UP for
tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one
thing but to be dressed UP is
special.

And this UP is confusing: A
drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.

We
open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at
night. We seem to be pretty mixed
UP about UP !

To be
knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary.. In a desk-sized
dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about
thirty definitions

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may
wind UP with a hundred or
more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is
clouding UP . When the sun comes out
we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it
soaks UP the
earth. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on & on, but I'll wrap
it UP, for now ........my time is UP !

Oh....one more thing:
What is the first thing you
do in the morning & the last thing you do at
night?

U
P !

Did that one crack you UP?

Don't ^^^^^ UP. Send this on to everyone you look UP in your address book..or not...it's UP to you.

Don't forget when your angry at someone it's UpYours!!!!!

Now
I'll shut UP

Think about it.


UP

Read until the end.....you' ll laugh....

This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word
is 'UP.' It is listed in the
dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky
or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we
wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do
we speak UP, and why are the
officers UP for
election and why is it UP to the secretary to
write UP a
report? We call UP our friends,
brighten UP a room, polish UP the
silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We
lock UP the house and
fix UP the old
car.

At other times this little word has real special
meaning. People stir UP trouble,
line UP for
tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one
thing but to be dressed UP is
special.

And this UP is confusing: A
drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.

We
open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at
night. We seem to be pretty mixed
UP about UP !

To be
knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary.. In a desk-sized
dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about
thirty definitions

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may
wind UP with a hundred or
more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is
clouding UP . When the sun comes out
we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it
soaks UP the
earth. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on & on, but I'll wrap
it UP, for now ........my time is UP !

Oh....one more thing:
What is the first thing you
do in the morning & the last thing you do at
night?

U
P !

Did that one crack you UP?

Don't ^^^^^ UP. Send this on to everyone you look UP in your address book..or not...it's UP to you.

Don't forget when your angry at someone it's UpYours!!!!!

Now
I'll shut UP

[srividyaa]

Brad Pitt and Vidya Balan get married
After marriage, lots of students gather at their home ..... why ???

..
because her name becomes Vidya Pitt (vidyapeeth)

rahul gandhi --> mom, aapaki wajah se meri shaadi nahi ho paaa rahi......... ....

sonia gandhi --> kyun beta???????? ????????

-

rahul gandhi --> har taraf to likha hai ki sonia ko bahumat do

BRUCE LEE was a great man

But after his sister gave birth to a baby he became an ordinary man...

why?
-

-

-

-

-
Because he became

MAMU LEE!

sharma and Verma r discussing-- -------
sharma ----- "if i drink coffee, i ca'nt sleep!!!!"
Verma ----- "with me it's the opposite.

If i sleep i can't drink coffee."

One day Ravan went to a disco....... ......... ......... ..

aur wahan jaakar woh behosh ho gaya ............ .......

kyun???????? ????????? ??

kyun???????? ??????

-

-

-

-

-
bcoz it was written on the gate that "entry fee Rs.1500 per head"

who made Ganesh to Anesh...????

ThinK......

Think......

okay.....

" KAILASH KHER "

tere naam se " G " loon....

Ek din ek aadmi apne naukar ko Priya Gold biscuit laane bolta hai. To
naukar biscuit laane Pakistan jaata hai.
Kyon??????

Think.......

-

-

-

-
Give up??
-

-

-

-
Coz...
"Priya Gold biscuit. Haq se maango.."

Ek nadi thi......
uske upar ek pull bana hua tha.....
pull par bahut saari ladkiyan khadi thi......
sab ki sab ek hi ladke ki deewani thi.....
Guess who was the lucky guy??????
.........
........
..........

Keep Guessing.... ..
........
........
........

Chalo yaar....the answer is
-

-

-

-

"KISNA"
Jo hai albela mad naino wala...
jiski diwani BRIDGE ki har bala.....
woh kisna hai

if a CAT crosses ur way,
when u are going some where,
then what does it mean????????

?????????

?????????

?????????

?????????

?????????

????????? ?

?

?

?

it means that the Cat is also going somewhere.

AND FINALLY THE LAST ONE

Why are Indian husbands called "MADE OF SILVER"

And

Why are American husbands called "MADE OF GOLD"

Socho

|
|
|
|
|
|
|

|
|
|
|
|
|
|

Thoda sur Socho

|
|
|
|
|
|
Socho Socho....

|
|
|
|
|
|

Nahi Aata

|
|
|
|
|
|
|

Bcoz

Indian wives call their husband "A g" ( Scientific Symbol for Silver)

American wives call their husband "A u" ( Scientific Symbol for Gold)

Brad Pitt and Vidya Balan get married
After marriage, lots of students gather at their home ..... why ???

..
because her name becomes Vidya Pitt (vidyapeeth)

rahul gandhi --> mom, aapaki wajah se meri shaadi nahi ho paaa rahi......... ....

sonia gandhi --> kyun beta???????? ????????

-

rahul gandhi --> har taraf to likha hai ki sonia ko bahumat do

BRUCE LEE was a great man

But after his sister gave birth to a baby he became an ordinary man...

why?
-

-

-

-

-
Because he became

MAMU LEE!

sharma and Verma r discussing-- -------
sharma ----- "if i drink coffee, i ca'nt sleep!!!!"
Verma ----- "with me it's the opposite.

If i sleep i can't drink coffee."

One day Ravan went to a disco....... ......... ......... ..

aur wahan jaakar woh behosh ho gaya ............ .......

kyun???????? ????????? ??

kyun???????? ??????

-

-

-

-

-
bcoz it was written on the gate that "entry fee Rs.1500 per head"

who made Ganesh to Anesh...????

ThinK......

Think......

okay.....

" KAILASH KHER "

tere naam se " G " loon....

Ek din ek aadmi apne naukar ko Priya Gold biscuit laane bolta hai. To
naukar biscuit laane Pakistan jaata hai.
Kyon??????

Think.......

-

-

-

-
Give up??
-

-

-

-
Coz...
"Priya Gold biscuit. Haq se maango.."

Ek nadi thi......
uske upar ek pull bana hua tha.....
pull par bahut saari ladkiyan khadi thi......
sab ki sab ek hi ladke ki deewani thi.....
Guess who was the lucky guy??????
.........
........
..........

Keep Guessing.... ..
........
........
........

Chalo yaar....the answer is
-

-

-

-

"KISNA"
Jo hai albela mad naino wala...
jiski diwani BRIDGE ki har bala.....
woh kisna hai

if a CAT crosses ur way,
when u are going some where,
then what does it mean????????

?????????

?????????

?????????

?????????

?????????

????????? ?

?

?

?

it means that the Cat is also going somewhere.

AND FINALLY THE LAST ONE

Why are Indian husbands called "MADE OF SILVER"

And

Why are American husbands called "MADE OF GOLD"

Socho

|
|
|
|
|
|
|

|
|
|
|
|
|
|

Thoda sur Socho

|
|
|
|
|
|
Socho Socho....

|
|
|
|
|
|

Nahi Aata

|
|
|
|
|
|
|

Bcoz

Indian wives call their husband "A g" ( Scientific Symbol for Silver)

American wives call their husband "A u" ( Scientific Symbol for Gold)

[srividyaa]

INTERESTING MOMENTS:-



*Trying hard to find the mobile when its in silent mode*




*A random day dream and then realizing that u were staring at someone by mistake*




*Having some texts on ur mobile that you never want to delete*




*Restarting the song when you miss your most favourite line*




*Staring into your wardrobe of clothes and finding nothing Good to wear*




*Everything else becoming most intresting when its exam time*




*Before starting any chapter counting the number of pages*




*Enjoying the moment when someone interrupts the class for an important anouncement*




*Shouting 'sirrr' when its 10 mins before break*




*The moments when we feel smiling is far better than explaining why you are sad*

INTERESTING MOMENTS:-



*Trying hard to find the mobile when its in silent mode*




*A random day dream and then realizing that u were staring at someone by mistake*




*Having some texts on ur mobile that you never want to delete*




*Restarting the song when you miss your most favourite line*




*Staring into your wardrobe of clothes and finding nothing Good to wear*




*Everything else becoming most intresting when its exam time*




*Before starting any chapter counting the number of pages*




*Enjoying the moment when someone interrupts the class for an important anouncement*




*Shouting 'sirrr' when its 10 mins before break*




*The moments when we feel smiling is far better than explaining why you are sad*

[Jessyjen]

Hi,

Thanks for giving this much of fun. Specially, Srividyaa's jokes are very funny. Keep it up, spread smiles as much as you can. Well done..

Thanks.

_________________
waterproof camera

Hi,

Thanks for giving this much of fun. Specially, Srividyaa's jokes are very funny. Keep it up, spread smiles as much as you can. Well done..

Thanks.

_________________
waterproof camera

[Andernorm]

Laughing is good for the health as well as for the fitness of the body. We can say that laughing is one of the best and the effective medicine to remain fit and fine. Laughing reduce stress and make your mind free and active. Laughing is good for the health and its proper functioning.

_________________
r4ds

Laughing is good for the health as well as for the fitness of the body. We can say that laughing is one of the best and the effective medicine to remain fit and fine. Laughing reduce stress and make your mind free and active. Laughing is good for the health and its proper functioning.

_________________
r4ds